Surviving a new city.
I say surviving, because I am definitely not conquering.
Not floundering either.
Just getting by.
It’s only been 10 days anyways.
Moving is rough. Especially when you are moving somewhere where you don’t already have a life pre-established.
10 days ago, I stood at the airport check out counter in Cape Town with everything in my flat condensed to two big bags. 1 of which didn’t get to come on the flight with me.
They wanted to charge me $850 for the second bag. So I left it.
Unpacked in Amsterdam and realized I probably choose the wrong 1 bag to take with me. The one I did take contained a whole lot of underwear, work out clothes, pj’s, and my make up. All my other clothes are still in CT.
I did get to go shopping though, so lack of clothing is no longer my complaint. My newest complaint is lack of community, and my lack of motivation to start finding a community all over again. I did that already. Twice. I don’t know that I really want to be the new person in a church full of strangers again.
I just want to be known already.
The whole effort of tracking down friends of friends who I should hang out with in Amsterdam is a little intimidating. I almost want to just stay home and hang out on facebook where I know I have enough friends already.
Unfortunately a facebook social life doesn’t give me what I really crave: real, authentic, face-to-face interaction.
What we all crave.
I often end up in situations where people tell me things like – “your soooo brave for doing that, I could never handle it. I would never even try.”
But sometimes I am tired of being the brave one. The one with the exciting life that also leads to a lot of late nights alone in new cities with my facebook.
I was drinking wine in my back garden today. Alone.
And there was a rainbow.
It was awesome.
And reminded me that I am not doing this alone.
And I may be surviving right now, but I work for a God who doesn’t care if I fail or conquer, He loves me either way, and He has promised to be with me.
Sometimes it takes surviving in a new city alone to realize how loved I am and that He never leaves me. I am never actually alone.